certain, yet unsure.

Since being home, I feel restless, exhausted, and... out of place. It's weird being home, even though I was only gone for two weeks. Today was my first day back at work and the weight of how small I've been living started to come down on me. It became very real to me how content I've been just to stay in my own bubble, when there is so much opportunity out there waiting for me to seize it! I'm not sure if this weight will wear off as normal life becomes more and more... normal. Or if it's the kind of weight that will cling tightly to me until I do something about it. Hmm.

The past two days of being home have also been hard because I've been back in my own head. When I was in Uganda, my time, energy, and thoughts were pretty much constantly on the work we were doing there and the people we were with. I spent very little time just sitting and digging around in my thoughts. And honestly, it was a great. I now feel unsure of how to think now that I have entire work days to just... think. And think. And think.


I miss Jinja, as I suspected I would. Though I did not grow especially close with any of the kids, I miss those small moments of exchanging smiles, hugs, and laughter. Juggling, dancing, playing, taking pictures, running around, teaching, learning. I hope it all sticks with me forever. It was one of the most challenging experiences I've ever had, and an amazing adventure every step of the way.


I'm certain that God was with me in Uganda. I am certain He is with me now.
I am only unsure about how He will use the time I spent there.

Though I may never know, I press on to search out the weight in my heart and the thoughts in my head. I press on to not only do life, but live it. Confidently. Knowing that I in my own strength cannot teach, love, or reach out to anyone. But that in Christ, I am love and I am light to those in Uganda, in the U.S., and in whatever country my next adventure will take place.

-Jessie